The Bertie Bassett Battle...

Saturday’s match against Blackmore was a hark back to 40+ years ago, when we played in the morning, went home in our kit and if your dad stopped at the corner shop in his Hillman Hunter, gave you £1 note for a pack of Embassy #10's and the change could be spent on pick'n'mix sweets.

An 11am kick off was a rude awakening to the senses, with the expectant crowd including some of our own children and a few friends with the emotional maturity of a 7year old. The early start, release from quarantine and injury precautions meant that the Gaffer tweaked the formation and the faces... DD started with a tan after 5 weeks in Spain that David Dickenson would be proud, Terry was present after 3 weeks' of birthday celebrations and Fraser was running late. The playing surface at CM4 could best be described as "bijou," therefore personal space and social distancing was at a premium. The crowded confines did not play to our strengths usually seen on the expanse of evergreen at Marks Hall Lane and the first 15 minutes were scrappy. Half chances were had, misplaced passes apologised for and the Friday night cocktails at Maison du Lux still lingering in the legs. Then disaster struck. A loose ball inside our penalty area was spotted and seized upon by The Freemans Catalogue Male Model 1991-2 (Winter collection) David Molt with a perfectly-timed toe and turn that Craig Revel-Horwood would have been proud of. However, in slow motion the Blackmore attacker fell to the ground and blinded by the fact he was wearing sunglasses, the referee awarded a penalty. StepToe looking resplendent in luminous orange as a stand-in goalkeeper did not stand a chance when the ball cannoned-in off the post. The set up was amended with almost immediate response, with Holly going close and well supported by Sonic and Splinters. Then before halftime, the Surrey Smoker latched on to a through ball to score his 7th goal in 5 non-competitive fixtures. More positional and player alterations in the 2nd half resulted in almost one-way traffic where more goals should have been the reward. Instead we had to make do with just one extra to settle the tie, with a near-post, close-range header from the man that is 2 parts lager, 2 parts nicotine and the rest made of goals - a real allsort Men's SuperVet Football qualities. No post-match tucker, so we went to watch a very charitable match against the 35s and SANDS Utd. This week is our final friendly before the season starts. Home to newly-promoted Westhamians at 2pm.