Goodyear....

Almost 12 months to the day on from taking the reins, the Gaffer relinquished control of this weekend's game to an injured understudy aka Dean Yeowell, whilst the birthday boy was upgraded from hopefully not used-substitute to emergency Left Back inside 20 mins Playing against a spirited 35's Ravens Team, Roding gave away at least 10 years in average age to their opponents... who's median youthfulness matched the ridiculous high 30s temperature.

The second friendly of the season was deliberately picked to prove a challenge on fitness and fast-ness and so it proved on several levels. The game took place on the Astroturf at Chelmsford with more shredded rubber tyre on the pitch than Lewis Hamilton going round Silverstone.

We knew we were in for a tough game irrespective of the weather when the referee arrives in matching (and highly unusual) Fluorescent Orange shirts... so now we had the heat, humidity, 12 players to play against, a pitch that resembled the remnants of Dean's "specialist wardrobe" after the moths had gotten to them and an emergency goalkeeper who adopted the Tommy Lawrence principle of not wearing gloves. It was not a great start and we slipped behind to shoddy communication and Tall Paul from Ongar didn't stand a chance... even if he had of slipped on the finger protectors. A drinks break could not come too soon and heat exhaustion forced off Steptoe. A reorganistion in the backline and upstepped the (he doesn't look it... and by that I mean he looks younger) 47year old Gaffer wearing the #7 shirt and hoping to take inspiration from Sir Kenny Dalglish in the 1985/6 Double Winning team. Dividends were immediately repaid when Splinters went down under a robust challenge and a haze of cross-ply shavings. Lucy coolly slotted home in the heat to make it 1-1. That is as good as it got. Undoubtedly suffering from the conditions, the more sprightly youngsters used their tender years to good effect against the weary legs, coupled with some poor passing. No amount of water breaks seemed to quench the thirst, with the 30 litres of chilled water purchased before kick-off turned to undrinkable hot steam in the second half. Splinters and Dom went close, whilst the Gaffer cruelly had a shot blocked from 30 yards that would have surpassed his much spoken about effort against Old Chigwellians a couple of years back. Further embarrassment happened in the shape of Dave "Freemans Catalogue model 1986 (Underwear and pyjamas section)" Molt rose to meet a harmless corner. Pushing his way past 2 teammates, ignoring a call of another and pirouetting with a triple axel that Robin Cousins would have been proud of, powered home a header from 6 yards into the top corner of his own net. Pre-season matches are all about changing match day squads, different challenges and the slow distillation of a winning formula. It shows how much every player has contributed in the past year, that we are now frustrated at not winning a game that was never about winning.

Next week is at Home in CM6 for the Mark North Trophy vs Bocking.. we are hoping for cooler weather and a big Cup supplied by Turks.