General Erection 2019...

Based on the past 6 weeks of campaigning and 3 years of debate on our future with the EU, I promise not to add to weariness with double entendre phallic references to Bonking Boris, Limp Labour or other such poor excuses for politicians. Let's face it, little changes when leaders chase your votes with promises of stability rather than radical thinking.

One name on the ballot had called for series of innovative changes that 30 years later seem like common sense... Pedestrianised streets, Votes for 18yo, Reformed licensing laws, Pet passports, etc. This campaign they nominated Noel Edmonds as Chief Brexit Negotiator as he "Understands the meaning of Deal/No Deal!"

In September, the Gaffer was informed by those close to him that he must Raving Mad to take on the challenge of WR45s, Loony to introduce some new ways into the changing room and was warned that it could turn into a Monster.

14 weeks later, we have heeded the words of Darwin & Wallace and evolved, devolved and resolved some of what has troubled us beforehand in order to be more successful. The Gaffer is purely a figurehead who has endeavoured to consult widely, build consensus and ask different questions rather than solely provide answers. When it comes to team selection, substitutions and WotW, decisions rest on one person's shoulders but everyone will be aware that they have contributed into the process through performance, proposition or preferring to opt out.

In this season of goodwill, presents of new Training Tops have been gifted and glad tidings shared when details of our first Semi Final and potential Cup-winning match were released. Whilst selection of the 16-strong squad rests with the Gaffer, everyone in the wider 25 has played an important role in achieving what we have so far... and the 9 that do not take to the field definitely do not miss out in the build-up, the involvement or the celebrations.

Look further afield and like a constituency acceptance speech, there are even more that need to be thanked, We have Sponsors, Printers, Yogis, Supporters, Club Officials, Wives, Girlfriends & Partners and Children to recognise in helping us play football and win more games than we lose this time around. Leadership is not transactional, but should be transformational. Leadership is not about singular success, but should be collective achievement. Leadership is not about popularity elections, but should be about erecting expectations amongst the general population of White Roding 45s... and yes we even have a Sesame Street character of our own in the team (but not Lord Buckethead)!

3 weeks off whilst we feign delight over an unwanted present, falling asleep in front of the TV and decline a 2nd helping of Xmas Pudding as the new kit doesn't come in XXXL size. Merry Christmas to everyone and let us all look forward to even greater erections in 2020!